City News

Providence Bans Butts in Public Parks

Cigarettes no longer welcome

Posted

Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em... while you can. As of March 11, smoking will officially be banned in Providence’s public parks. So no more cigarettes. No more cigars, the snob of the smoking family. No more pipes which, depending on your age, are either the grandpa of the smoking family or the irony soaked hipster grandkid of the family. As for the vaping crowd, congratulations! With no real smokers to blend in with the attention you so desperately crave while you puff on your supercool future cigarettes is yours and yours alone!

Violations will come with a $50 penalty, the grown up equivalent to no TV, no Nintendo and no friends over the house when your mom busted you the summer leading into freshman year. Speaking of violations, many see this smoke-out as a violation on their inalienable right to kill themselves slowly while paying through the nose to do so. Others see this as a move towards a healthier society. Either way, it all boils down to how strictly this is actually going to be enforced. Only that will determine whether this is a legitimate challenge to citizens or just a symbolic gesture.